Friday, May 7, 2010

Kinky Lizzy

"wall of love"

I know this post will probably make a few angry, perhaps because I will step on a raw nerve. However, let me apologize in advance. I believe we try to make through the world the best way we know how. Therefore, there is no wrong or right lifestyle, unless it is not consensual. I am simply putting a concept on the table for an open conversation.

When I was a teenager, I read a book about Diane Downs ( One of the beliefs psychiatrists came up with, in order to explain the many children & pets she had was that she wanted to build “a wall of love” around her. The belief was that both children & pets have unconditional love for someone who takes care of them.

Recently, that term, “a wall of love”, came to mind again, when at a poly get together, we began to chat about a prominent member of the poly ( scene who was the focus point of several poly groups & seemed to have many poly partners, both real & made up. For example, one of the women at the party was also thought to be one of his partners. However, she confided that she had never had sex with the person in question, nor was she interested in him. We were all completely stunned, because the message the prominent member conveyed was that she was indeed one of his partners. Several weeks following that conversation, I was online, chatting with someone who actually had visited his house. She said he had so many dogs that it made the house uncomfortable for entertaining.

Further, I have seen profiles of people who are poly & have many biological children who are looking for more partners & interested in having more children.

The message conveyed to me, in both situations, was that they needed to surround themselves with people & perhaps animals, in order to give themselves the illusion of being loved, rather than actually feeling self-love & having it radiate from within their heart & souls outside to others.


Pussy Line Up

Beloved & I just had the funniest heated discussion about who ate pussy better, me or him.  We said we could have a pussy line up & each of them could vote!  In my head, I have a vision of women laying down, legs spread, with clipboards & a pen.

Cocks to Twats

I am laughing at my daughter discovering that gay people are not a new fad, after  she found out one of the characters on "The Tudors" prefers cocks to twats.

Teri Knox

I have a huge crush on Teri Knox (  I went on my first date with her last night & she made me all gooey inside.  I love NRE (New Relationship Energy).  You should be sure to see one of her shows in the near future.  She will make you all gooey too!

Leg Cramp

I absolutely love watching boys play with themselves.  The look on their face is incredibly erotic & intense to me.  So, while having sex with my Beloved recently, I suggested, he finish up by ejaculating on my tummy.  As I watched my Beloved, an unusual look crossed his face.  One that I had never seen before.  However, in the arms of passion he continued undaunted.  Then, not only did his face become contorted, so did his actions.  His aim went haywire & he ended up giving my wall a facial as well as everything close to me, except for me.  Finally, he collapsed from exhaustion & a leg cramp.  It seems he was not into the whole "pain & pleasure" thing!


I had a boy send me an email, in regard to my adult sex classes.  He said he was fit & attractive & wanted to know if he could be paired up with a girl.  I always giggle when a boy assumes he is attractive to me.  I find boys with bald heads, goatees, & hard medium sized tummies to be the most attractive.  I am not into the fit boys!

Vibrating Anal Egg

One of my favorite stories, involving my naughty adult toys is one involving a remote control anal egg. My two best girlfriends & I decided to have fun with a boy. We all got together one evening for dinner & a movie. We convinced the boy to slip the anal egg up his butt, before we left the house. It’s easy to convince a boy to do whatever we want, when he is getting the attention of three women.

Because the vibrating anal egg is operated by remote control, we were able to pass the controller amongst ourselves, without him knowing who had it. We had him wiggling at the best times, for example, when ordering our food. He had a very puzzling look on his face!

However, the best time happened when we got to the movie & we decided that every time someone on the screen said “yes”, the egg would be turned on. Ten minutes into the movie, the egg was activated, with the boy protesting. He said, “They said yeah, not yes!” We did not take kindly to that, so we changed the rules to whenever someone gave an affirmation of any kind, such as nodding the head, or saying “sure, okay, yes, yeah, I agree”, the egg would be turned on. As you can imagine, by the end of the night, the boy was going out of his mind.

When we returned home, the boy began to masturbate. However, he did not realize that his body had become so used to the vibrations of the anal egg that his hand would have absolutely no effect on his body. After giggling at him for several minutes, as he frantically tried to jerk off his flaccid cock, we let him in on our little secret.

We told him to take a little nap for an hour & relax. After doing so, we gave him the remote control. He immediately put it on its highest vibration & within a few short moments he had the most intense orgasm of his life!
Patience has its rewards!

Ferret Facial

A few years ago, when Puppy, my long-haired chihuahua, was teenie tiny, I let him sleep in the ferret cage at night, with Compo & Tommy. They seemed to get along fine & enjoyed each other’s company in & out of the cage.

At one point I was sitting in the living room watching TV & I could hear a strange yelping noise coming from the general area of the cage. When I got up to see what the commotion was, everyone in the cage froze. I returned to my comfy couch. Several minutes later, I heard the same commotion. I quickly popped up again in order to find the source of the high pitched yelping. Again, everyone froze, when they saw me. Determined to find the reason, I decided the next time I heard the bizarre noise; I would quietly sneak over to the furries to get a glimpse of what was going on.

Several moments pass & I heard the noise again. I followed my plan of carefully moving towards the cage, without the ferrets & puppy noticing. That’s when, in disbelief, I found the cause of the commotion. Apparently, Puppy had decided to show Compo & Tommy who was in charge. In order to show his dominance, he was trying to screw the ferrets. However, because he did not know what the hell he was doing, rather than getting into the typical “doggie” position, he put his own spin on things. Puppy was boinking the ferret’s heads! In protest, the ferrets were biting Puppy’s teenie tiny little balls, with Puppy yelping in response to the pain. When I finally pulled Puppy off of Tommy, his face was covered in Puppy cum!


I am fascinated as to why people apologize to me so much.  On a regular basis, I hear “Sorry about your arrest” or “Sorry about your father’s death”.  Why would someone apologize to me for something they had nothing to do with & cannot control?  Why do people seem to be focused on the negative, even when looking at someone else’s life?  I actually find it a bit insulting.  After all, I am incredibly happy.  I would guess from all the people apologizing, I am happier than most others.

Stupid MILF

In doing a website, for a whore, we were discussing marketing.  I mentioned that she may want to bill herself as a MILF, because of her age.  She paused a moment, as though she was pondering what I just said.  She then looked at me & said, “What is a MILF?”   A bit stunned, considering the term is so common, I said “It stands for Mother I Like to Fuck.”  She paused again & said “Shouldn’t there be a 2 in there somewhere?” TRUE STORY!

Women are in control of sex. Men are controlled by sex.

Women need a reason to have sex.  They have sex for children, money, power or marriage.  Once a woman has what she wants, she will stop having sex.  On the other hand, men can procreate until the day they die & they will try.  Women do not need sex to be healthy, men do.  A woman can go years without even thinking about sex.  However, a man needs it for his mental & prostate health.

What makes it even worst is that women need to feel attractive, in order to have sex.  Men on the other hand, do not care.  So, once a woman believes she is unattractive, as a result of getting older or heavier, she will stop having sex.  Because she needs a reason to have sex, she will come up with all sorts of reasons not to, if she sees no need, such as complaining that she is menstruating, headaches, tiredness, etc.

I have come across this circumstance often in life.  In talking privately with couples in my classes, I have told them to come up with a reason for her to have sex.  Create a Honey Do List.  Have the women create a list of everything she wants done, whether it’s fixing the ceiling fan or painting the house.  For every task that is complete, the man gets a sexual activity.  However, be sure that the activity matches the task, for example, anal intercourse for painting the house.  I guarantee the house will be painted & the boy will be happy.  It’s a win win situation.

If you are in the process of creating a lifetime partnership, either through marriage, hand fasting, or some other ceremony, make sure you tell your partner in advance the repercussions for withholding sex from you.

On the flip side, make sure you find out what she needs in order to have sex.  If she needs to feel attractive, make sure you go out of your way to tell her how attractive is or give her a day at the spa to bolster her confidence.  Go shopping with her, whether you like it or not, & help her pick out clothes that make her feel sexy, such as lingerie or whatever does it for her.  Always communicate what is expected on both ends.

Remember if you want sex, you have to play the game.

“I don’t think that there’s anything worse than being ordinary.”

When people wonder about my life & why I have not gotten more upset about my circumstances, this is my answer to them.  “I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it’s hard to stay mad when there is so much beauty in the world.  Sometimes I feel like I am seeing it all at once & it’s too much.  My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst & then I remember to relax & stop trying to hold onto it.  Then, it flows through me like rain & I can’t feel anything but gratitude, for every single moment of my stupid little life.”