Sunday, April 18, 2010
I went out to dinner with Baby, my 13-year-old daughter. Although I am not a huge fan of "Subway", she enjoys it & the walk gives us an opportunity to talk. I am very pleased to say that we have a very open way of communicating. She has no problem talking to me about boys, sex, drugs, school, etc. Sometimes I wish our lines of communication were not so open, considering the topic of her getting on birth control pills has come up recently. Those are the times I wish I could just crawl under a rock & pop out, when she turns 18-years-old.
My mother was in the health care industry. As a result of that, I have a very healthy understanding of sexuality, my own in particular. I believe masturbation is a very important form of sexuality. I happen in dabble in it at least every other day. Sometimes it is not because I am turned on, but because I am stressed or cannot sleep & need a release in hormones to calm my spirit.
I find pornography to be very helpful in my endeavor. My favorite porn theme is facials. I have been told I have a very interesting philosophy, in regard to semen. In my thoughts, when I am performing fallacio on my partner & he is getting ready to ejaculate, his seamen belongs to me. I created the mess & it is mine. The bigger the mess the more excited I get. So, I keep him on the edge for as long as possible, knowing that with each stroke, his release will be more intense & larger in quantity.
My grandmother & my father died within a period of thirty days earlier this year. During that period, the relationship between my Baby & BabyDaddie deteriorated. When I needed BabyDaddie to help me through the journey of their deaths, by helping to care for Baby, while I tended to their last requests, he was unhelpful. Instead he helped to create chaos. Knowing that he lacked in parenting skills, I asked for two specific things from him or I would file for full custody of Baby, along with requesting child support.
I asked that he have a conversation by phone with Baby, every day for at least 10 minutes. I also requested that he take her out twice a week, for a minimum of two hours. BabyDaddie agreed, thanking me for allowing him a second chance. All was well for one week & then he slipped back into his old habits, not speaking to Baby for weeks on end.
It was then I decided to file for full custody along with child support. I contacted my divorce attorney & told her my story. She agreed it would be easy to accomplish, based upon his actions. However, I was nervous, considering I pleaded guilty to profiting off an illegal business in the fall of 2008. My BabyDaddie saying "Everything will come out, if you take me to court." My attorney told me to ignore his warning, considering if that was truly a concern of his, he would have asked & received full custody years ago.
I finally went to my attorney & filed the paperwork last week. Sadly, he will probably be served the paperwork around the same time we go to our first family counseling session.
I am off today. I have the good fortune to sleep in late, until my 13-year-old daughter, referred to as "Baby" from now on, wakes me, wanting to know where her camera is. We have had this conversation many times in the past, her camera taken away from her some time ago as a punishment. Just like a small child, she only remembers the things that are immediately in front of her, with the other items only passing her thoughts from time to time. This time the thought is her camera.
She approaches me this time as a young woman, not as a little girl, with remarkably tasteful eye liner & a full bosom, covered by a tank top. She's excited because she has lost weight & wants to show others by taking pictures & publishing them to her online profiles. All of this scares me.
In the end, I do not have complete control of my daughter & the internet can be a scary place, full of people who would seek to harm my only legacy. I can only guide her to make her own decisions. I can only hope those decisions are the right ones. I know she will make the wrong decisions from time to time, as we all do. However, I hold true to my belief that she will be a successful adult.
My ex-husband, referred to as "BabyDaddie" from here on, has different ideas. He comes from a background in which his parents, mainly his mother, were very controlling. He prefers not to see his only child fail, by controlling her actions, while I prefer to guide. As a result, BabyDaddie & Baby do not get along. Recently, they have physically attacked one another. Luckily, they rarely see each other, especially since June of 2009, when Baby told BabyDaddie she did not want to see him again. Since then, she has resided with me full-time, not staying with her father once over night.
I have dozens of successful blogs across the internet, with dozens of subjects, including prostitution, phone sex, polyamory, paganism, divorce, parenting, etc. However, I have never had a blog that fully encompassed all of my life, until now. Because I have chosen to be completely honest in this blog, my name will always remain anonymous. I am simply known as "Girl Exposed".
In sharing my story I hope you will see & appreciate the extraordinary life you lead, as well as the exceptional lives as others.