Thursday, May 13, 2010

Marianne Williamson Quote

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Favorite Movie Quote

When people wonder about my life & why I have not gotten more upset about my circumstances, this is my answer to them.  “I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it’s hard to stay mad when there is so much beauty in the world.  Sometimes I feel like I am seeing it all at once & it’s too much.  My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst & then I remember to relax & stop trying to hold onto it.  Then, it flows through me like rain & I can’t feel anything but gratitude, for every single moment of my stupid little life.”

Top 20 Best Sellers

"You give the best hugs"

M & Beloved seemed to stay close, even though she changed her mind on seeing him romantically, although it is a bit uncomfortable now.  M has been going through a court process that has taken a toll on her spirits.  Beloved has been kind enough to comfort her, even giving her hugs at work.  In response to a hug earlier in the day, M texted Beloved saying, "You give the best hugs".  The text conversation then began to have sexual innuendos.

I thought the texts were inappropriate, considering the nature of their relationship now & Beloved agreed.  He said he would mention to M that he feels uncomfortable with the flirtation, just as he had to do with F last year, when their romantic relationship failed, even though he was still working with her.

Dancing Again

I recently heard from my old boyfriend, Q.  We have the oddest relationship that started about 8 years ago, during my divorce process.  Since then, we have lived together, unlived together, had bootie calls, not spoken for months, worked together, lusted after each other & hated each other.

I heard from him about a month ago.  In his email he said, "I've got a bizarre naked painting/art project I am thinking of.  It involves full nudity, latex paint, and canvas flats.  I see it being anywhere from 4 hours to 8 hours depending upon how well it goes.  I thought of you since you fit several requirements - first off in my experience you have no problem being nude, second you are buxom, and third you are a bit of a freak and it probably wouldn't offend you if I wanted to paint your body and then use it to "print" canvas.  So let me know if you want to try this, I understand if you don't.  I'm thinking Sunday around 5 or 6 PM or so."

My response was, "Your project sounds like a tremendous amount of fun & something I have never done before.  It is also something intimate that should be done between friends.  You & I have not connected as friends in a very long time.  It would be very awkward for me & I will have to turn down your request.  I hope you understand.  Thanks again for the consideration.  I am truly flattered."

The final correspondence on the matter came from him, when he said "Got it."

To say we had not connected as friends was a weird understatement.  I work for him & we work together side by side regularly.  However, during those times, he never says anything of a personal nature to me, not even asking how my weekend went.  In addition, he never touches me in public, even as he is giving other women co-workers hugs.  I just got sick of the split personality kind of thing, hence my polite, but cold response.

Then, three days ago he emailed me saying, "What are you doing Wednesday evening?  I have a new grill I would like to break in."  We actually made plans to have dinner at his house, with me leaving soon thereafter to work.  However, our plans fell through, as a result of a business drama for him.

Q used to drive me nuts.  However, because I am in a healthy polyamorous relationship, with Beloved, I have a wonderful reference for how a relationship should work.  I no longer tolerate bad behavior from him.  Yet, sometimes he still gets to me.

When Beloved asked what was going on in my head, when I thought about Q, I explained it this way.  Men are like fine tuned instruments to me.  I can easily make them do as I please, as they play fun music for me, like a jingle.  The melody sticks in my head for a bit, as I enjoy their entertainment.  However, once something else comes along, I lose interest.

Beloved is like "Ave Maria".  I know every note & every word of the song in three languages.  Every time I hear it, I cry.  Although I know the song,   He is simply beautiful.

When I think of Q, I search for the notes.  I struggle to find them.  Once every few months, I hear a cord.  They are the most beautiful & intense five notes I have ever heard.  I desperately try to find them again.  I cannot, no matter how hard I try.

Beloved is predictable in his love for me.  He is without a doubt the most compatible lover I have ever had.  If I think about how much I love him, I cry.  His beauty is intense & unyielding.  I cannot figure out Q.  He is unpredictable.

Beloved believes we are "not done".  He says that I scare the bejeebus out of Q.  However, neither he nor I can deny the energy that flows between us.  We shall probably be dancing for a lifetime.

As you noticed, I have a tendency to equate people with some facet of music, whether lyrics or instruments.  So, you can understand when I can easily see Q thinking the lyrics of this song, when he thinks of me:

Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Saturday, May 8, 2010

"Yeah, my mom used to do that all the time."

In doing phone sex, I have the ability to block certain callers from contacting me in anyway, including by email.  That has only occurred on one such occasion.  I had a caller who wanted me to pretend to be a mother, holding down my 6-year-old daughter, so he could have sex with her.

After  I told him I was very uncomfortable with the role-play & would not participate, I asked him some questions.  I wanted to know if he had ever been molested as a child.  Although he said no, I asked more specific questions, such as had any of his relatives ever touched his genitalia as a child, making him intentionally erect.  He replied, "Yeah, my mom used to do that all the time."

I then went on to explain that a 6-year-old girl would not take any pleasure from having sex with a man, because the size of his penis would rip her open with a great deal of pain.  He was stunned.  It never occurred to him that a child would not enjoy having sex with him.  Apparently he enjoyed the attention of his mother.

Because the phone sex system is double blinded (I do not have his number & he does not have mind), I would not be able to report him to any authorities.

Does phone sex become a stepping stone to other activities?  Is it simply a vehicle for some to live out their fantasies?  As a phone sex operator, do I have the moral & ethical obligation to report any illegal role-playing?

"No one ever loved you, as much as I did."

My daddie finally died after battling Hodgkin's Lymphoma for 2 years.  His death was perfect & beautiful.
My mother called me on Tuesday & warned me that she did not believe that he would make it until the weekend, when I was suppose to visit.  I immediately caught the next train & saw him, within 6 hours of her phone call.

The only thing I could think of on the 4 hour train trip was what I would say to him on his death bed, as he awaited his next journey.  I had the entire monologue memorized from the first sentence to the last kiss.  On the trip, I had convinced myself, he would be laid out on his death bed, seemingly asleep, attached to gadgets, monitoring the life leaving his sickly body.
However, as usual, my daddie had his own thoughts in mind.  When I saw him for the first time, he was sitting up & talking to my mother.  He was hairless, pail, skinny in some places, bloated in his tummy.

My mother explained that his organs were shutting down one by one, with his kidneys going first.  He had a catheter inserted into his penis, although he was unable to pee.  Later on, I asked his nurse if there was any turning back.  She said, "No", explaining that once the organs start to fail, the body cannot recuperate.  He had less than a week to live.

All at once, she announced that she was going home to get some rest & I was requested to stay the night with my daddie.  Without agreeing to her request,  she quickly went over what monitors I should watch & why; telling me when I should call her.  Then she promptly left.

I was scared.  I had never been on a death watch.  I had never been on a death watch for a person who was sitting up & talking to me from time to time.  For the most part, daddie laid in a drug induced painless sleep.  However, when he woke, he wanted to leave, pulling his thin cotton robe off & attempting to get out of bed, in order to return to his home.  My goal was to keep him calm & comfortable.  If I did it long enough, the drugs slowly wore off & he became lucid.

He spoke of life, death, triumphs, sorrows, & love.   He never asked questions, only telling me his personal truths.  He would be seeing his mother, father & sister; all of whom preceded him in their journeys.

Tears from both of us flowed from time to time.  They were not the tears of sorrow, but the tears of recognizing a life well lived & well loved.   The monologue I had memorized on the train disappeared from memory, as I listened carefully to what he had to say.

When the drugs wore off to the point he was in pain, I called his nurse.  She lovingly gave him more medication & he would quickly fall asleep.  I convinced myself that I could sleep, when he did.  I was wrong.   As much as I tried to get comfortable, I only heard his labored breathing &the beeps of his monitors.

Twelve hours slowly went by, along with many conversations on the joys of living & the madness of dying young.  Child became the parent.  Parent became wise man.  Souls mingled.
At 8am, my mother & my daddie's sister returned to his side & told me to go home & rest.  I did as they requested, knowing my daddie would be comforted should he wake.  When I reached my parent's home, I fell fast asleep, until I jumped to my feet, when the phone rang.

My mother said my father would die soon.  If I wanted to be there, I needed to leave immediately.  Knowing I would be utterly devastated if I missed saying good-bye, I left.

I arrived at his hospital room, with him surrounded by love, facilitated by my mother & my aunt.  He was pale, & seemingly lifeless, although he was indeed hanging on by a thread of life.  That thread slowly began to unravel.  Before my eyes, his breathing became shallow & almost unnoticeable.  His expression grew peaceful, as though he was a child being held by his mother.  My mother, a nurse too, unplugged his monitors one by one, as the tears ran down her face.  She knew his time had come.  To try & save him with drugs, was inhumane.

Within moments, his soul left his body.  His nurse & my mother verifying that his journey had begun.  His nurse, quietly left the room, giving us time to process his life & death.  My mother spoke to him, saying "No one ever loved you, as much as I did."  She then gently kissed him on his slightly blue lips & pale cheeks.

I began to cry.  Not because my father's lifeless body lay before me, but because my mother just lost a part of her soul; her  husband, best friend & lover of 40 years.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Kinky Lizzy

"wall of love"

I know this post will probably make a few angry, perhaps because I will step on a raw nerve. However, let me apologize in advance. I believe we try to make through the world the best way we know how. Therefore, there is no wrong or right lifestyle, unless it is not consensual. I am simply putting a concept on the table for an open conversation.

When I was a teenager, I read a book about Diane Downs ( One of the beliefs psychiatrists came up with, in order to explain the many children & pets she had was that she wanted to build “a wall of love” around her. The belief was that both children & pets have unconditional love for someone who takes care of them.

Recently, that term, “a wall of love”, came to mind again, when at a poly get together, we began to chat about a prominent member of the poly ( scene who was the focus point of several poly groups & seemed to have many poly partners, both real & made up. For example, one of the women at the party was also thought to be one of his partners. However, she confided that she had never had sex with the person in question, nor was she interested in him. We were all completely stunned, because the message the prominent member conveyed was that she was indeed one of his partners. Several weeks following that conversation, I was online, chatting with someone who actually had visited his house. She said he had so many dogs that it made the house uncomfortable for entertaining.

Further, I have seen profiles of people who are poly & have many biological children who are looking for more partners & interested in having more children.

The message conveyed to me, in both situations, was that they needed to surround themselves with people & perhaps animals, in order to give themselves the illusion of being loved, rather than actually feeling self-love & having it radiate from within their heart & souls outside to others.


Pussy Line Up

Beloved & I just had the funniest heated discussion about who ate pussy better, me or him.  We said we could have a pussy line up & each of them could vote!  In my head, I have a vision of women laying down, legs spread, with clipboards & a pen.

Cocks to Twats

I am laughing at my daughter discovering that gay people are not a new fad, after  she found out one of the characters on "The Tudors" prefers cocks to twats.

Teri Knox

I have a huge crush on Teri Knox (  I went on my first date with her last night & she made me all gooey inside.  I love NRE (New Relationship Energy).  You should be sure to see one of her shows in the near future.  She will make you all gooey too!

Leg Cramp

I absolutely love watching boys play with themselves.  The look on their face is incredibly erotic & intense to me.  So, while having sex with my Beloved recently, I suggested, he finish up by ejaculating on my tummy.  As I watched my Beloved, an unusual look crossed his face.  One that I had never seen before.  However, in the arms of passion he continued undaunted.  Then, not only did his face become contorted, so did his actions.  His aim went haywire & he ended up giving my wall a facial as well as everything close to me, except for me.  Finally, he collapsed from exhaustion & a leg cramp.  It seems he was not into the whole "pain & pleasure" thing!


I had a boy send me an email, in regard to my adult sex classes.  He said he was fit & attractive & wanted to know if he could be paired up with a girl.  I always giggle when a boy assumes he is attractive to me.  I find boys with bald heads, goatees, & hard medium sized tummies to be the most attractive.  I am not into the fit boys!

Vibrating Anal Egg

One of my favorite stories, involving my naughty adult toys is one involving a remote control anal egg. My two best girlfriends & I decided to have fun with a boy. We all got together one evening for dinner & a movie. We convinced the boy to slip the anal egg up his butt, before we left the house. It’s easy to convince a boy to do whatever we want, when he is getting the attention of three women.

Because the vibrating anal egg is operated by remote control, we were able to pass the controller amongst ourselves, without him knowing who had it. We had him wiggling at the best times, for example, when ordering our food. He had a very puzzling look on his face!

However, the best time happened when we got to the movie & we decided that every time someone on the screen said “yes”, the egg would be turned on. Ten minutes into the movie, the egg was activated, with the boy protesting. He said, “They said yeah, not yes!” We did not take kindly to that, so we changed the rules to whenever someone gave an affirmation of any kind, such as nodding the head, or saying “sure, okay, yes, yeah, I agree”, the egg would be turned on. As you can imagine, by the end of the night, the boy was going out of his mind.

When we returned home, the boy began to masturbate. However, he did not realize that his body had become so used to the vibrations of the anal egg that his hand would have absolutely no effect on his body. After giggling at him for several minutes, as he frantically tried to jerk off his flaccid cock, we let him in on our little secret.

We told him to take a little nap for an hour & relax. After doing so, we gave him the remote control. He immediately put it on its highest vibration & within a few short moments he had the most intense orgasm of his life!
Patience has its rewards!

Ferret Facial

A few years ago, when Puppy, my long-haired chihuahua, was teenie tiny, I let him sleep in the ferret cage at night, with Compo & Tommy. They seemed to get along fine & enjoyed each other’s company in & out of the cage.

At one point I was sitting in the living room watching TV & I could hear a strange yelping noise coming from the general area of the cage. When I got up to see what the commotion was, everyone in the cage froze. I returned to my comfy couch. Several minutes later, I heard the same commotion. I quickly popped up again in order to find the source of the high pitched yelping. Again, everyone froze, when they saw me. Determined to find the reason, I decided the next time I heard the bizarre noise; I would quietly sneak over to the furries to get a glimpse of what was going on.

Several moments pass & I heard the noise again. I followed my plan of carefully moving towards the cage, without the ferrets & puppy noticing. That’s when, in disbelief, I found the cause of the commotion. Apparently, Puppy had decided to show Compo & Tommy who was in charge. In order to show his dominance, he was trying to screw the ferrets. However, because he did not know what the hell he was doing, rather than getting into the typical “doggie” position, he put his own spin on things. Puppy was boinking the ferret’s heads! In protest, the ferrets were biting Puppy’s teenie tiny little balls, with Puppy yelping in response to the pain. When I finally pulled Puppy off of Tommy, his face was covered in Puppy cum!


I am fascinated as to why people apologize to me so much.  On a regular basis, I hear “Sorry about your arrest” or “Sorry about your father’s death”.  Why would someone apologize to me for something they had nothing to do with & cannot control?  Why do people seem to be focused on the negative, even when looking at someone else’s life?  I actually find it a bit insulting.  After all, I am incredibly happy.  I would guess from all the people apologizing, I am happier than most others.

Stupid MILF

In doing a website, for a whore, we were discussing marketing.  I mentioned that she may want to bill herself as a MILF, because of her age.  She paused a moment, as though she was pondering what I just said.  She then looked at me & said, “What is a MILF?”   A bit stunned, considering the term is so common, I said “It stands for Mother I Like to Fuck.”  She paused again & said “Shouldn’t there be a 2 in there somewhere?” TRUE STORY!

Women are in control of sex. Men are controlled by sex.

Women need a reason to have sex.  They have sex for children, money, power or marriage.  Once a woman has what she wants, she will stop having sex.  On the other hand, men can procreate until the day they die & they will try.  Women do not need sex to be healthy, men do.  A woman can go years without even thinking about sex.  However, a man needs it for his mental & prostate health.

What makes it even worst is that women need to feel attractive, in order to have sex.  Men on the other hand, do not care.  So, once a woman believes she is unattractive, as a result of getting older or heavier, she will stop having sex.  Because she needs a reason to have sex, she will come up with all sorts of reasons not to, if she sees no need, such as complaining that she is menstruating, headaches, tiredness, etc.

I have come across this circumstance often in life.  In talking privately with couples in my classes, I have told them to come up with a reason for her to have sex.  Create a Honey Do List.  Have the women create a list of everything she wants done, whether it’s fixing the ceiling fan or painting the house.  For every task that is complete, the man gets a sexual activity.  However, be sure that the activity matches the task, for example, anal intercourse for painting the house.  I guarantee the house will be painted & the boy will be happy.  It’s a win win situation.

If you are in the process of creating a lifetime partnership, either through marriage, hand fasting, or some other ceremony, make sure you tell your partner in advance the repercussions for withholding sex from you.

On the flip side, make sure you find out what she needs in order to have sex.  If she needs to feel attractive, make sure you go out of your way to tell her how attractive is or give her a day at the spa to bolster her confidence.  Go shopping with her, whether you like it or not, & help her pick out clothes that make her feel sexy, such as lingerie or whatever does it for her.  Always communicate what is expected on both ends.

Remember if you want sex, you have to play the game.

“I don’t think that there’s anything worse than being ordinary.”

When people wonder about my life & why I have not gotten more upset about my circumstances, this is my answer to them.  “I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it’s hard to stay mad when there is so much beauty in the world.  Sometimes I feel like I am seeing it all at once & it’s too much.  My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst & then I remember to relax & stop trying to hold onto it.  Then, it flows through me like rain & I can’t feel anything but gratitude, for every single moment of my stupid little life.”

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Featured Adult Toy

Thank you!

Before I go any further in my blog, I would like to take this opportunity to think everyone who made me smile over the last 6 months. Without you, I would not be able to hold my head up high & be completely happy with who I am, without any regrets. Although this is going to sound very cheesy, your love & support of me is the elixir of my soul. Thank you for the quenching. Jeebus, my blood sugar just escalated!

I thought I had lost my mind!

I had just finished pumping gas, when I hopped back into the car to start it. I COULD NOT FIND MY CAR KEY! I did just pull into the gas station. I did just have it in my hand, until I went to pump gas or was it all a dream?! I spent the next 10 minutes looking for it, as I pretended that I was still pumping gas, so the people around me did not think I HAD LOST MY MIND. Jeebus, I need a new keychain & a new brain.

Cock Control

There are a lot of men out there who do have issues with erection control and/or premature ejaculation, and the good news is there is an answer for you. There are a few options for you to choose from, all with their own pros and cons, but all mostly pros! There isn't a reason you should have to experience an embarrassing encounter such as not being able to hold it any more and blowing your load way to early.

Why not try an erection controlling cock ring? These are made out of a strong material such as rubber or silicone, and are built to last! Tight fitting, these rings are placed on the penis while still limp, or just semi-erect, and slid down to the base of the shaft. Using lubrication for easy removal is a great idea. Then simply let your partner arouse you and get your penis hard, or use a penis pump, and the ring will jump into action.

How it works is the ring will only let blood flow one way, into the shaft. Blood not being able to escape will ensure you keep your penis hard and ready for intercourse. This can be quite dangerous if not done properly. If you use a penis pump, you can experience blood veins bursting inside the shaft, leading to bleeding and bruising. The ring also restricts oxygen flow to the penis, which can also be potentially harmful.

To avoid this and possibly other disasters, it is not advised to wear a very tight cock ring for more than 20 minutes during an entire session. This way you can have your ultra hard on, and reduce the risk of injury. It is a good idea to visit your doctor before using a cock ring if you are not sure about your risks.

Cock rings also help in avoiding premature ejaculation by squeezing the urethra and not letting semen flow through when you are close to an erection. This should not be used as a form of birth control, as some semen may slip through, and enter the vagina.

Another way of controlling ejaculating to soon is by using a prolonging cream. These delay creams contain the ingredient Benzocaine. Benzocaine is a widely used local anesthetic that slightly numbs the head of the penis, desensitizing it, and allowing the sensations of intercourse to not feel to intense.

Benzocaine is used in many topical pain killers, and with other ingredients in medical formulas. It numbs the penis by blocking some of the sensations and telling your brain it is not good enough to ejaculate yet! Benzocaine should not be used as a pain reliever for anal sex, as pain is your body's natural way of telling you something is not right, and numbing the pain and doing it anyway can lead to major damage. As far as anal sex is concerned, it should be pain-free, and if it is not, perhaps you need more time with small anal toys to train the muscles in the anus to enjoy the sensations.

Benzocaine delay lubricants come flavored, or odorless and tasteless or with added ginseng for a stronger effect. An alternative to Benzocaine is Yohimbe, which is a natural ingredient found in the bark of the West-African Evergreen. This alkaloid is used as a treatment for erectile dysfunction, and has traditionally been used as an aphrodisiac. This ingredient is natural and a great alternative to Benzocaine.

Whatever your method, erection control and premature ejaculation can be treated and avoided easily, safely and quickly. Try different methods and see which one works best for you. Consult a physician before using a product or sex toy you are unfamiliar with and may potentially be dangerous, such as penis pumps for erection control.

Penis Pumps For Penis Enlargement

Many think penis pumps to be one of two things: a wave of the future, or the most dangerous thing you can do to your favorite bits. Well, in reality penis pumps fall into both of these categories, but mostly in between. Penis pumps have helped many men, but can be very dangerous if not used properly. With some simple care and no overuse, penis pumps may be successful for you in more ways than one.

To get one messy theory out of the way, penis pumps do not really give you “more length”. This is pretty much impossible to do without painful surgery and months of recuperation. Instead what they do is help you get a raging hard on! So for men who have a hard time getting an erection in the first place, or for men who want a slightly larger erection than your natural erection, penis pumps are one of the most helpful tools.

So to use a penis pumps, always follow the instructions provided with your pump. Before you beginning using your penis pumps, it is best to massage and stretch your penis for 3-5 minutes to get it warmed up and ready to go. A warm body, penis and scrotum will pump easier and safer, and the blood will flow easier. It is always easier if you lubricate your penis before beginning, this way when you go to remove your penis from the pump, it will slide out easily and not pull painfully.

Next, slide your penis in to the plastic tube, and make sure the seal at the base is secured and air locked around the base of your penis. Do not insert your testicles into the pump, as they are not part of the pumping process! Begin pumping slowly; no pain or discomfort should be felt when pumping. Once again, read your instructions to know what pressure you should pump to. You should always use the minimum amount of pressure needed to reach your erection.

Only pump until you have reacher an erection slightly larger than your natural erection, but be careful. Improper use of a penis pump can result in rupturing blood vessels under the skin or inside the shaft of the penis, which can lead to hemorrhaging and other medical conditions. If ANY discoloration or major pain should be experienced, see a medical professional straight away.

If you follow the instructions and never exceed the minimum pressure you need to reach your erection, everything should work fine, and you should be able to enjoy a rockin' hard on! 99% of penis pumps will come with a quick release valve for added safety. Once you are finished pumping, simply push the quick release valve to release the pressure.

Some penis pumps are simple, and some have fancy additions, like a vibrating tongue at the top that will tickle your head while you pump, getting you way more aroused for intercourse. These little added functions are a great addition to any pump, but do not interferer with the pumping process.

Enjoy your new penis pump, and never forget to read the instructions fully before beginning. Make sure you wash your pump thoroughly as to not grow bacteria in the tube. Also, discontinue use and see a medical professional if any discomfort, pain, swelling or discoloration should be a result of use. Have fun and love your new, bigger erection.

The History of Dildos in America

Since the beginning of recorded time the most common health complaint among women was ‘hysteria’, a medical term used to describe a woman in mental or emotional distress and a condition that was thought to be in need of immediate treatment.

To treat the so-called ailment, doctors and midwives massaged the genitals to "hysterical paroxysm," as the orgasm was scientifically termed, to release held-back energies.
The procedure was performed in doctor’s offices, health spas, and the home as a standard medical procedure.

In the mid-1600’s Doctors recommended the following treatment for hysteria:
"...massage the genitalia with one finger inside using oil of lilies, musk root, crocus or [something] similar. And in this way the afflicted woman can be aroused to paroxysm (orgasm)…most especially for widows, those who live chaste lives, and religious is less often recommended for very young women, or married women, for whom it is a better remedy to engage in intercourse with their spouses."

19th century religious proscriptions against self-masturbation meant that Doctors or midwives rather than the individual performed the stimulation. Most doctors did it because they felt it was their duty, but considered it a chore, as manual massage was fatiguing and slow, taking up to an hour to ‘complete’ the procedure.

Beginning in the early 1800’s, Doctors designed many other procedures for arousing women and alleviating the symptoms of ‘hysteria’ for a time including rocking chairs, a swing, and vehicles that bounced the patient rhythmically on her pelvis. It appears however that the women of the day had the problem well in hand.

By 1870 the gentle Doctors got on the right track with a wind-up vibrator made available to both spas and physicians. Obviously no woman was interviewed during the design stage as in field trials it had a tendency to run down before the treatment was complete.

Shortly after the wind up vibrator fiasco, vibrator development took another distinctly male design turn when an American physician patented the "Manipulator" - a steam-powered massage and vibratory apparatus. He warned that patients should be careful to avoid over-manipulation.

Finally, in the 1880’s a British physician invented the electromechanical vibrator for use as a medical instrument issuing in the golden years for dildos. Other physicians followed suit with contraptions intended to serve as vibrators. Articles and textbooks on vibratory massage technique praised the machine's versatility for treating nearly all diseases in both sexes and saving physicians’ time and labor. These vibrators reduced the time of "getting there" from up to an hour to approximately 10 minutes.

By the end of the 19th century, some doctors were advising women to come in for such treatments once a week.

In an effort to better serve the patient, convenient portable models become available, permitting house calls. Vibrators had come of age as an accepted health and relaxation aid.
The electric vibrator was invented right after the electric sewing machine, fan, teakettle and toaster, and before the electric vacuum cleaner, the electric iron and the electric fry pan.
The Home Needlework Journal advertised its line of vibrators with the slogan "all the pleasures of youth will throb within you."

As the market became more competitive, ad copy for vibrators was coy and ambiguous. "Be a glow getter," one package insert suggests. And who wouldn't be tempted to experience "that delicious, thrilling health-restoring sensation called vibration," when assured that "it makes you fairly tingle with the joy of living"?

The Sears and Roebuck & Company Electric Goods catalog promotes a vibrator attachment for a home motor that also drives attachments for churning, beating, buffing and fan operating America’s housewives had all but eliminated long bouts of ‘hysteria’ when 1920 Stag films started using vibrators as props. Orgasm without penetration! The vibrator's era as a medical appliance had ended. Advertisements for vibrators gradually disappeared from respectable publications as vibrators transgressed to becoming sex toys.

1960s: Vibrator re-emerges and is openly marketed as a sex aid. It is quite astounding that in the 1970’s Medical authorities still assured men that a woman who does not reach orgasm during sexual coitus was flawed or suffering from some physical or psychological impairment. It wasn’t until the 1990s that research showed that more than half of all women, possibly more than 70 percent, do not reach orgasm by means of penetration alone.

Vibrators are now a big business; after all, as a vintage advertisement claims, "almost like a miracle is the miraculous healing force of massage when rightly applied."

Men & Fish

"Men," I said with a self deprecating sigh, "are like fish. You can cast the same lure at them over and over again, making it wiggle and jiggle and they will go for it every single time. They'll swallow it hook line and sinker--unless they somehow manage to lose their appetite."

~Ed Wolfstaag

"the stupidity of some girls "

I am stunned at the stupidity of some girls in the sex worker industry. Through the grapevine, I heard that a sex worker wanted to visit me at my former residence, because she had questions about a domain name that I own. This is the same sex worker who was listed in my arrest report, although she was not arrested along with me. However, her previous arrest for prostitution, stage name, full name, address, birth date, driver’s license number, & license plate number were listed in the report.

She wants to see me in person? You have got to be friggin’ joking! No only am I going to avoid her like the plague, I will make sure I never have contact with her again. You would think after being arrested once in 2002 & then popping up on someone else’s arrest report she would take it as a sign from the universe that she should drop out of the industry. However, she obviously sees it as a challenge & continues to use her original stage name. To top it all off, she wants to associate with me, in order to get a stupid domain name!

The Woodhull Freedom Foundation and Federation (WFF)

The Woodhull Freedom Foundation and Federation (WFF) work through research, advocacy, and public education to affirm sexual freedom as a fundamental human right.

We address laws, government policies, and corporate practices that restrict sexual freedom and discriminate against people on the basis of their consensual sexual expression.

The Foundation addresses these issues through research and public education, while the Federation conducts strategic advocacy campaigns.

The global perspective of the Foundation and Federation relies on research and analysis of laws, judicial decisions and enforcement practices.

Through education, we seek to mobilize diverse communities, write model legislation, build alliances, and change public attitudes to advocate for the sexual rights and responsibilities of all.

  • We educate the public on the importance and value of sexual freedom and counter the arguments of groups seeking to restrict sexual rights;
  • We advocate for decriminalization and social acceptance of consensual sexual expression;
  • We seek to change antiquated, repressive and discriminatory sex laws and enforcement practices;
  • We advocate for freedom of speech and artistic expression on sexual themes;
  • We promote the empowerment of people to take control of their bodies and their sexuality;
  • We support legal action to overturn court decisions adverse to sexual freedom and privacy rights, and we work to affirm and expand decisions, like Lawrence v. Texas, that support sexual freedom and privacy;
  • We oppose abstinence-only sex "education" and endorse an age-appropriate, comprehensive approach to sex education; and
  • We seek to protect and foster scientific research on sexuality.

Say it with me, “ARRESTED”.

Why is it that people have a hard time saying the word “arrested”? I have run across many people in person & online, who I knew me before my arrest. Each of them has used terms like “bad luck” & “hard time”. In my head I am thinking, “I was arrested. It’s not a dirty word & nothing I am ashamed of. I was arrested. Say it with me, “ARRESTED”. Being arrested just means I get to move on & do things that I have only dreamed about. Arrested means awakening!

Neimans handcuffs.jpg

Lesson Learned

I ran into a very interesting conversation online last night. Through one of my high school reunion profiles, my brother’s best friend from high school found me.

He mentioned he has a crush on me, when I was a teenager, & wondered if I had ever liked him. I was stunned, because as a teenager, I was awkward & very uncomfortable with myself. Obviously, he was too, if he had a crush on me. I am certain I echoed something he saw in himself.

As always, the conversation turned sexual. I am not sure why that happens, as I do not bring up the topic, unless prompted. He wanted to know what I was “into”. Earlier in the conversation, I found out he was getting married in a few weeks & I refused to answer his question, until he had gone through with the ceremony. In my head I was thinking, “I am into everything your wife is not.”

I had the same conversation with a boy a few years ago. However, I shared with him my sexual kinks the week before he got married. It was a huge mistake. After talking with me online for a few days, he decided to call off his wedding. Later I learned it was because of the conversations I had with him, as well as some other personal reasons.

I felt really really bad about the situation & learned a valuable lesson.