Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Finally Spoke to Mr. N

I spoke to Mr. N, Baby's 8th grade Assistant Principal, in regard to her cell phone this afternoon.  He said he did not go through Baby's texts & he did not believe that she was participating in any illegal activity.  he said that now we have spoken, he will return the phone to Baby.  There is one more person involved;  the substitute teacher who actually took her phone.  I need to chat with her, before I continue with the thought of taking the school system to court.

M cancels

M cancelled her date with Beloved for Thursday.  Beloved said, "M & I won't be going out.  She cancelled.  Working together and a couple of personal things made her reconsider.  I was getting that vibe from her."

I am relieved.  Although I am hopeful Beloved will have an additional romantic partner, other than me, I would also prefer it would be with someone he does not work with.  In addition, in this particular case, it is a good possibility that I could also be working with both of them in the future.  I just think that whole dynamic could be very wonky.

How to Date a Geriatric

Beloved had to get a pooh sample to submit for his yearly physical.  I had been teasing him all week about how he was going to get the sample.  Once he finally journeyed down that path, he realized the kit came with papers that were to be placed across the toilet, in order to catch the pooh.  However, upon sitting down, he did what comes naturally & began to tinkle; thus allowing the paper to fall into the toilet, before he could make use of it.  He said I should write a manual for his other girlfriend's on "How to Date a Geriatric"!

Cell Phone Drama

I went to Baby's, my 13-year-old daughter, middle school this morning, in order to pick up  her cell phone & talk to the administrators about possibly looking at her text messages on her phone illegally.  Mr. N was not there.  I left a message with the secretary, in hopes of connecting with him later today.

I have spoken & researched the issue a bit.  The only legal precedence I have found for an administrator to go through a student's cell phone, without permission or without a search warrant, is if they believe a crime may have been committed.  My next step is to talk to the administrators face to face & get the story from them, rather than all through Baby.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Dark Odyssey Leather Retreat

Kinky Retreat I am considering registering for:  http://www.darkodyssey.com/

As a community, Dark Odyssey is a melting pot of diverse identities and interests that welcomes people of all genders, sexual orientations, and perversions. Each DO event is a wholly unique experience which brings together sexuality, spirituality, education, and play in a fun, supportive, non-judgmental environment where fantasy becomes reality. These events immerse you in an atmosphere of sexual energy and experimentation that will add excitement and passion to your relationships and create deeper levels of connection between you and your partners.

Leather Retreat is the event that started it all, way back in 1998. With a firm belief that BDSM events should be more than just "tie me up and flog me" weekends, we broke through the BDSM vs Sex barrier and embraced the hard choice not just to allow sexual activities at our events but to encourage it. We opened our arms to the swinger community, the queer community, the spirituality community and more. The result is an event that seamlessly blends people from across the spectrum of the alternative lifestyle community and gives them an experience that many describe as transformative if not simply the best vacation of the year.

LR is held on a 200 acre retreat facility in Northern Maryland. The place started life as a kids' summer camp but now hosts adult events, nudists, music festivals, and even the occasional band camp. Since we aren't competing with the kids for prime time, our event happens the last weekend of June after schools are out, graduation ceremonies are over, and the weather has warmed up. It really is a summer vacation ... a kinky, sexy, unbelievable vacation.

Unlike a big hotel event, the owners of our camp allow us to do just about anything (legal) we want (that's safe, sane and consensual, of course). The camp staff has been around this stuff for years, so no one will blink at anything you do. At camp, we have freedom and privacy. We give up a cushy hotel room in exchange for being able to really live out our fantasies, unencumbered for six straight days!

Leather Retreat is an all inclusive vacation. We feed you three meals a day plus a midnight snack. You'll stay with a bunch of your friends (or make new ones) in one of our 40 cabins, each with real beds, full bathrooms and electricity for all your toys. The big gym in converted into our main dungeon, the barn and pavilion into smaller themed play spaces. There is Sex-O-Rama, the Pamporium, the fire pit and a great pool located right in the center of camp. We even run a fleet of golf cart taxis, mainly because its fun to drive golf carts around, so sign up to drive the topless taxi.

We welcome everyone - straight, bi, queer, genderqueer, and transgendered. We are a truly multi-gendered, multi-sexual community with singles and couples, veterans and newbies, monogamous duos and polyamorous families. We are sex-positive with interests as diverse as BDSM, swinging, Tantra, sacred sexuality, Paganism, crossdressing, and lots of twists on "vanilla" sex. We appreciate that everyone has their own fetishes, kinks, and turn-ons, and we want to make room for them all. We strive to create an open, tolerant, non-judgmental environment with top-notch play spaces, creative amenities, and inspiring events so that people can have a truly immersive experience. Our goal is to build a magical place where you can live out your wildest fantasies and dreams.

Oh and don't worry if this is your first time...We love virgins! We have lots of activities to help you break the ice. On your second day, you'll fall into the routine and by the third, you'll be helping (and checking out) the new arrivals. By the end of the week, you'll have made a ton of new friends and will be planning that big scene you want to do next year.

"fuck her little brains in"

I worked with U, my girl crush, last night.  Because we were delayed in getting started, we lounged in the warm sun on the grass, with my co-workers; many of whom had never met U.  She sat behind me, with her huge breasts against my back, petting me like a lap cat, as I purred with delight.  I introduced her as my girl crush & she joyfully smiled.  In my career field alternative lifestyles are very common.  In addition, I am very open about being poly, bisexual & kinky.  The introduction of a girl crush was nothing unusual for me.

I adore U.  I could easily fall in love with her, particularly if we have sex.  However, as I have explained before, I refuse to do that, considering she will be moving many states away in less than a month.  I am not successful with long term relationships & I do not want to create a situation in which U will fail.  I would rather wait until she returns to my area permanently, before I start a long term romantic relationship with her.  I want to enter into something we can be successful at.

Everyone around me says I am being too logical & I should fuck her little brains in, before she leaves.  She wants that too.  She tells me that although she respects my "little" rules, she also wants to fuck them, along with me.

Baby, BabyDaddie, & Counseling

I just returned from the family counseling session BabyDaddie requested in order to help him & Baby, our 13-year-old daughter, get along better.  BabyDaddie has three main issues in his way.  First, he has no male role model.  His own father has been married more than five times, leaving each marriage, when a teenager entered the picture.  He left BabyDaddie, when he was just 14-years-old.  Next, BabyDaddie has put himself in a unusual situation, based upon his career choices.  He is a teacher, coach, & referee.  He is always in a position of unquestionable authority.  Furthermore, when a young person gets out of line, he simply sends them to someone else, such as a parent or principal.  Finally, he is dealing with a hormonal 12-year-old girl; something he has never been & will never understand.

To make things more difficult, we have different parenting styles.  I believe in guiding my child to be a successful adult, through being supportive of her failures & successes.  He believes in having a much more controlling hand & not allowing her to fail.  Baby seems to react better to my philosophy,  fighting, when he controls.

During the session, the doctor decided that the problem was between Baby & BabyDaddie & asked if I wanted to come to future sessions that I wait out in the lobby.  Baby requested that I did indeed attend in support of her.  Our next session is Tuesday of next week.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Beloved's Loves

Beloved is well on his way to beginning his romantic relationship with M.  Last night over dinner, he briefly chatted about what he wanted to do on his first date with her Thursday.  Since beginning our polyamorous relationship, Beloved, my live-in partner, has dated two other women.

F was the first.  She was 30 years younger than him & a co-worker.  I knew from the beginning that the relationship would not be successful.  Someone so young could not possibly be emotionally mature enough to handle a 30 year difference in ages, as well as a polyamorous one.  Although they stayed together romantically for only 2 months, they still work together.  Several months ago, he wrote her a letter saying that he respectfully requested that she not act anything but professional with him, such as not sending "drunk texts".  She read the letter, never replied, & did as he requested.  He stills longs for her.  The thought makes me sad that he is sad.

K was the second.  We both have sex with K from time to time.  She is not a romantic partner.  She is more of a play toy for us, although her place in our personal lives seems to be on the decline.  She holds traits that we do not find attractive, such as her weight, smoking & the lack of time we are able to share with her, because of her young daughter.

I am nervous about him dating M.  The biggest issue I have is she also works with him, just as F did.  In fact, all three still work there to this day.  I would really hate for his relationship with M to end like the one with F.  I cannot imagine working among the same small staff, with two former lovers staring at you day in & day out.

Although I have voiced my concern, I am not sure if it has caused him to pause & think.  I am not interested in him completely stopping the path of the relationship, I just want him to think.  I will speak to him again, before their first date on Thursday.

Giving C Advice

My close friend C, spent yesterday evening with Beloved & me. I absolutely adore C, for a multiple of reasons. C & I have been lovers from time to time; however, not in the last year. All of which Beloved knows.

It seems that C just broke up with his most recent sexual partner. Apparently, she was getting too serious too fast. C said that now that he looks back he could see the signs all along. However, he ignored them, knowing he was having sex regularly. Things came to a head, when she wanted to call C her boyfriend, yet C would not call her his girlfriend. She finally got the hint & the two of them called the romantic relationship off.

Much of the evening was spent chatting with C about what he wanted in a relationship & polyamory. C is not sure whether or not he is polyamorous. However, he knows that he is not interested in dating just one person. His confusion came to telling a potential partner that he was not interested in just dating one person; although, that could possibly happen in the future. His thoughts were he did not want to scare a partner off.

My advice to C was to find out what he wanted out of a relationship & then to communicate that to a potential romantic partner, regardless of what he believed her response would be. Staying true to himself his ultimate goal.

Baby & Her Cell Phone

When I picked up Baby, my 13-year-old daughter, from the bus stop, in order to take her to yearly physical, she was very upset, crying & speaking very quickly in a high pitched tone.  Once I got her to calm down, she explained that when her teacher had taken away her cell phone, because she was caught using it during the school day, the teacher, along with two other administrators, went through the phone & read all of her text messages, later interrogating Baby about what they found.  They did not get permission from Baby or me, nor did they have a search warrant.

I do believe the school had the right to take the phone away from Baby, if they stated in advance that would occur, if she was caught using it in school.  However, I do not believe they had a right to look through her phone, without permission.

I am going to ask an attorney for advice.

Baby & Birth Control

I took Baby, my 13-year-old daughter,  to her yearly physical on Friday.  She did very well, being healthy & losing a bit of weight.  The most interesting part of the event took place, when the doctor mentioned that because of a state law, he was required to tell Baby that she could discuss things with him, without me present, including drugs, alcohol, birth control, etc.  Then, the doctor left for a moment.

Baby & I have always had very open communications about sex & birth control.  I strongly believe that a girl or woman should be completely in control of her body & have any information to empower her in that journey.  In the end, she is the only person who will protect herself.  In addition, because my mother was in the health care industry, she has always had an additional person to talk to that believes in the same thing.

The doctor returned & Baby left him know she was interested  in talking.  He gave her pamphlets detailing the different types of birth control, along with additional information that was unbiased & medical.  The whole situation was surreal.  One  moment, I saw my young daughter & another moment I saw a woman, getting information about protecting her body.  Honestly, I had prepared for this moment for many years, but I was uncomfortable.

Afterwards, we were leaving the building & Baby stopped me in the hall, giving me a huge heartfelt hug, saying that she was very grateful to have such an understanding & caring mother.  She then gave me a huge hug.

Friday, April 23, 2010

BabyDaddie & his $80

BabyDaddie has texted me for the last 2 days, in regard to being late in giving me his $80 a month in a grocery card.  Yes, $80 a month is all he currently pays me & yet he can't even handle that.  BabyDaddie has always been very big on appearances.  He owns two houses, a cleaning franchise, works a full-time job, probably has part-time jobs, as he lives in a studio apartment.  All this was going well, until the recession.  Now he cannot afford to pay me $80 a month, without being late or getting a loan from someone.  This is the way the texts played out:

BabyDaddie:  I am sorry for being so late with gift card.  I will have it for you on Monday.  The month has been hard.  Again, sorry.

BabyDaddie:  Hey, I was thinking.  Does Baby need anything...clothes...school supplies...etc?  Please let me know if she needs anything.  Thank you.  Have a good evening.  Again, I will get the gift card by Monday.

BabyDaddie:  Is everything okay?  Does she need anything?

Me:  Everything is fine.  You are welcome to get with her to buy some summer clothes. 

BabyDaddie:  Okay what would be a good time for you all?  Again, I am sorry for the late gift card.  I've run into a bit of major financial slump & I'm trying to cover my current bills that I am behind on.   I will get that money to you Monday.  Also, I'm going to give another $80 gift card Monday, borrowed to get this to you earlier for next month.  Again, I am sorry.

Me:  You can chat with her about it in person when you see her on Monday.

BabyDaddie:  Are you okay with the two gift cards on Monday?

Me:  I do not have a choice when it comes to when you are to give me the gift cards.  Right?  So, as soon as they are available is fine.

BabyDaddie:  What would be better for you?  I'm sorry I didn't ask this question.  I just assumes it would be fine since we are meeting this Monday.  I can get it sooner.  I can borrow this portion as well & get to you today.  Again, sorry for the trouble this has caused your family.

Me:  Monday is fine.

BabyDaddie:  Okay.  I will have two for you.  What is the best day for you to get this to make things easier for you?  I will do whatever is possible to make this happen for you guys.  Just let me  know the best day of the month.

Me:  Just pick a day of the month and stick with it.

BabyDaddie:  Okay.  We can do the second Friday of the month.

Me:  Okay

I truly sympathize with him having financial difficulties.  However, by this point, everyone has made some cuts in their spending in order to survive.  Perhaps it's time he sell some property & cut down on expenses.  If he thinks it's bad now, wait until he gets the court notice, asking for a change in custody & child support.

Naughty Motorcycle Key

My motorcycle key had it in for me last night. I was heading home from work, stopping off to get gas. I placed the gas cap, with the key still inside on the ground & pumped gas. When I turned around, I stepped on the gas cap, bending the key inside. Luckily, I had my muti-tool & was able to dislodge it from the gas cap rather easily. So, I thought I could get home, by placing the broken off key in the ignition of the motorcycle & turning it with the multi- tool. However, the key sat lower in the ignition then it did in the gas cap & I was unable to turn it, although I was able to dislodge it from the ignition. I was stuck.

I tried calling & texting Beloved at his work, but he was busy & did not respond. So, I called U, my girl crush, & she accepted the rescue mission. She agreed to pick me up from the gas station & drive me home to retrieve a spare key, returning me to the gas station for me to get my bike. In gratitude, I promised to take her out to dinner.

By the time, we had reached my home, Beloved was also there. The three of us went to a late dinner at a local Italian restaurant. It was yummy to have my two favorite people, sitting on either side of me, while petting me under the table. Beloved told his story about asking M out, while U & I gave him suggestions on how to handle the "office romance". U discussed moving to Florida to get away from her ex-girlfriend. I absorbed their energy & basked in their love for me. We then parted, with Beloved heading back to our home & U driving me back to my bike. Although the evening started off on a rather bad note, it ended wonderfully well.

Creepy Old Man Scores

Beloved finally asked out M yesterday.  As I mentioned to him, it was not a long wait, after he verbalized his intentions to me.  I think he feels more comfortable, once he runs things by me.  The story he tells is M was relating a story she had of a "creepy old man" asking her out.  When he asked if the "creepy old man" thing was for all older suitors, she replied that is was only for that particular man.  He then went for it.  Currently, he has no particular date or plans in mind.  However, knowing Beloved he is thinking about it a lot.

Beloved has a wonderful energy about him, when he is courting another woman.  He is much more passionate towards me.  As he explained over dinner last night, his life has changed in such a positive direction over the last two years;  he would have never been able to love more than one woman at a time & certainly not discuss it so openly.  He is so grateful to me that his love for me is intensified, when he is allowed to love more.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Players

I decided to add a "Players" page to my blog, knowing things could get confusing, without one:  http://girl-exposed.blogspot.com/p/players.html

Sexting

U decided to text me, after we had dinner. I had to work & she had to deedle.

Me: You are so yummmy

U: I'm sitting in my car outside of my house...With my fingers stroking my stuff...Thinking about u saying my name as someone else fucks u...

U: I am wet

Me: Gulp

U: Would that u were on my floor...Between my thighs...Showing off

Me: Jeebus

U: I would like to feel ur kisses on my skin...

Me: You are being very naughty, while I work.

U: I would also like to be naughty to u...I would like to press up behind u while I push you against a wall...Kiss the nape of your nape.

U: Whisper things in your ear...And do them to you...

Me: gulp

U: I want to please and be pleased by you...

Me: hmmmmmm

U: I would enjoy gripping ur shoulder with my teeth while I rub myself against you

U: But how would I be able to resist want to kiss your beautiful mouth...

U: I couldn't... I don't. My tongue firms to your softness when I kiss you...I adore how receptive ur mouth is.

U: I was serious when I told u that I think about you cumming with my clit in your mouth...It's the whole concept of u chasing ur own pleasures while giving

U: me mine...

Me: Did you cum?

U: Would you swallow my orgasm...Not yet...Having too much fun texting u. You caught me just as I was starting.

U: Would you push ur tongue inside of me looking for the last drop?

Me: You make me hot.

U: I want to taste that...

Cat & Mouse

I worked & then had dinner with my girl crush two days ago.  U absolutely drives me nuts.  I have never met another woman who had me so twisted around her little finger.  We play this game that we have dubbed "Cat & Mouse".  In our little game, I go after her, through smiles, winks, flirting.  She acts coy & runs.  As she puts it, "like the gingerbread man".  Then, without warning, she turns & does the same thing to me.  We can go on & on all day.  Those around us, particularly Beloved, are amused by it.  With boys, I am direct & honest, without backing down.  With her, I get all mushy & gushy inside.  I back down out of fear; I know what she can do with my soul.

I want to hear her say my name, while her mouth is firmly wedged between my thighs.  I want to devour her, inch by inch.  But, I won't.  Sadly, she is moving far away.  I do not want to make love with her, because I know I will fall madly for her & I am not successful with long distance relationships.  I do not want to be sad knowing that I cannot touch her.  So, I do not go down that path.

She will return to my area regularly, her mother living close to me.  In addition, she will probably move back in two years.  She is moving away is to cleanse her soul of her ex-girlfriend, who cheated on her.  She still craves her, but knowing her ex-girlfriend is bad for her, she runs.

Beloved, along with others, believes I should enjoy her while I can.  He sees the power she has over me & wants to get caught up in the energy exchange between us, believing he will benefit from it too.

I wait.

"This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me."

I work in an industry that is male dominated.  I actually prefer that, because I can get away with just about anything, as long as I am doing my job.  Yesterday, I ran around with jelly bellies (http://www.jellybelly.com/) asking, "Have you been good today?"  If they responded with a yes, I would open my bag.  As their eyes got wide with the yummy surprise, I would say "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me."  At one point, a disciple yelled across the room, "Your body tastes like cotton candy!"

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Beloved & M

Last night, over dinner, Beloved mentioned he was interested in asking M out on a date.  The thought does not surprise me, considering they work side by side & get along well.  I actually enjoy her company quite a bit.

My only concern is that Beloved dated a woman at the same place of work in her early 20's last year, with sad consequences.  I am not sure whether her being so much younger than him or the fact that they worked together doomed the relationship.  I am leaning towards the age thing.

I am also not sure of M's love style.  I do know that she was dating a boy several months ago, but I have not heard anything further.  I also do not know whether or not she is polyamorous.

Beloved

I have been involved with Beloved for 2 1/2 years, living with him, since October.  He is by far the most compatible person I have ever had a romantic relationship with.  I love him very much & hope our relationship lasts many many years.

Although Beloved is 14 years older than me, we seem to be on the same life path.  I have one child, Baby, 13-years-old, who resides with us.  He has two grown children who are no longer living at home.  Neither of us want any more children.

We are polyamourous (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory), believing that it is possible to fall in love with more than one person at the same time, seeking romantic partners that accept & support that philosophy.

By society standards, we are both kinky, although I would just say that we are open to new sexual experiences & are very excepting of other people's sexual desires.

We both enjoy motorcycles.  I actually got him into the feeling of freedom that comes with riding a motorcycle, but he rides more often than I do.  We have plans  to ride across the country on a charity motorcycle event this summer.

We both work in the same industry & sometimes work side by side.  When we do work together, we get along very well.

We both have the same taste in people, delighting in those who we enjoy & snickering at those we dislike.

Most importantly, we take a great deal of delight in each other!

FetLife Profile

Monday, April 19, 2010

Juice Fasting

I am on a juice fasting diet.  Yes, I realize it is not a traditional way to lose weight.  In fact,  I am pretty sure my Beloved would kill me, if he found out, considering he is a foodie & always concerned with my health.  However, for me it is the best.  I have found that I am most successful  with an all or nothing attitude, with few choices.  In the past, I have been successful on a water diet.  However, this time I chose a juice diet, because I can still get all of my minerals & nutrients, feeling less tired.  I am too lazy to create my own juice.  So, I prefer to drink Odwalla (http://www.odwalla.com/).

Baby & Grades

Baby, my 13-year-old daughter, got a C on her last report card in Language Arts.  When I emailed her teacher asking how she can improve her grades, she responded with:

Baby currently has a 76% average in class (a C). She is missing her Weekly Reading Log 23 which was due this past Monday. I can give her another copy in class if she lost hers.


Baby is a very intelligent and curious student. She definitiely adds personality and "spunk" to our class and she is a real pleasure. However, I have noticed that she is becoming more and more social with her friends. Of course, this is not a bad thing as long as all of your work gets done and you do not become distracted. Unfortunately, I do think Baby gets caught up in her social life and neglects some of her schoolwork. Instead of going straight to her next class when the bell rings, she will linger in the hallway and talk to her friends. She has even been late to class a few times because she gets distracted. Right now this is not a huge problem, but students who show this type of behavior often get even worse with the increased freedom and additional friends that comes along with high school. We need to remind and encourage her that even though it is nice to socialize with our friends, our main priority is school and making sure we earn the grades we want. She is more than capable of earning straight A's if she puts her mind to it.


Thank you for the additional information about Baby.  In order to get her more interested in completing her reading log, we purchased books that would inspire her read.  Like me, she has a love of non-fiction, such as biographies & true crime.  Sadly, she also has a love of manga.  The deal was one chapter book for one anime.  Therefore, we purchased "The White Queen", by Gregory Phillippa Gregory (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/imageviewer.asp?ean=9781416563914) & some hideous manga.  Although "The White Queen" is not a true non-fiction, it seemed to spark her interest.


I am very aware of Baby 's love of socializing.  I battle the same war at home.  I have spoken to her about keeping her fraternizing with her friends at school at a minimum.  Please let me know if it gets further out of hand.

Feast or Famine

Today is a short day for work.  I am only scheduled from 6am-10am,  The rest of the day is mine.  Although I should be proactive & get some things done, including my taxes (now 5 days late), I am going to hop back into bed & take a nap.  In order to be at work on time, I had to get up at 4:15am, with only 6 hours of sleep.  In my industry, it is either feast or famine.  The famine will continue until July, when the summer will be dead.  Until then, my work hours & lack of sleep will be wonky, but my wallet will be happy.

BabyDaddie Text from Last Night

BabyDaddie sent me a series of texts last night, after not seeing Baby for two weeks, saying, "hey, I was just checking to see if everything has been okay for you guys.  I had given Baby some room to vent and cool off.  I hope everything is okay.  Is she okay?  I hope so...please let her know we love her and I shall keep trying to be there for her even when she says she doesn't want me in her life.  Just keep me informed things she may need for support to you in taking care of her.  She is due for physical and we are on for next Mon."

The words sound great, but the actions just don't match.  BabyDaddie has a tendency to hyper focus on Baby for a short period of time, this time he wants us to go to family counseling, as his text referred to "we are on for next Mon."  He then disappears for several weeks or months.  In reality, we prefer that he not be around, because life is so much less chaotic, without him.

The really sad thing is he lives in the same apartment complex we live in.  So, there should be no reason for him to go for long periods of time, without seeing Baby.  In reality, he does it, because life is easier without a 13-year-old girl.

I will do as a responsible parent would do, by responding to his text in a positive manner, saying "We are good & look forward to seeing you next Monday."

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Baby & Communication

I went out to dinner with Baby, my 13-year-old daughter.  Although I am not a huge fan of "Subway", she enjoys it & the walk gives us an opportunity to talk.  I am very pleased to say that we have a very open way of communicating.  She has no problem talking to me about boys, sex, drugs, school, etc.  Sometimes I wish our lines of communication were not so open, considering the topic of her getting on birth control pills has come up recently.  Those are the times I wish I could just crawl under a rock & pop out, when she turns 18-years-old.

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Masturbation

My mother was in the health care industry.  As a result of that, I have a very healthy understanding of sexuality, my own in particular.  I believe masturbation is a very important form of sexuality.  I happen in dabble in it at least every other day.  Sometimes it is not because I am turned on, but because I am stressed or cannot sleep & need a release in hormones to calm my spirit.

I find pornography to be very helpful in my endeavor.  My favorite porn theme is facials.  I have been told I have a very interesting philosophy, in regard to semen.  In my thoughts, when I am performing fallacio on my partner & he is getting ready to ejaculate, his seamen belongs to me.  I created the mess & it is mine.  The bigger the mess the more excited I get.  So, I keep  him on the edge for as long as possible, knowing that with each stroke, his release will be more intense & larger in quantity.

Back to Court

My grandmother & my father died within a period of thirty days earlier this year. During that period, the relationship between my Baby & BabyDaddie deteriorated. When I needed BabyDaddie to help me through the journey of their deaths, by helping to care for Baby, while I tended to their last requests, he was unhelpful. Instead he helped to create chaos. Knowing that he lacked in parenting skills, I asked for two specific things from him or I would file for full custody of Baby, along with requesting child support.

I asked that he have a conversation by phone with Baby, every day for at least 10 minutes. I also requested that he take her out twice a week, for a minimum of two hours. BabyDaddie agreed, thanking me for allowing him a second chance. All was well for one week & then he slipped back into his old habits, not speaking to Baby for weeks on end.

It was then I decided to file for full custody along with child support. I contacted my divorce attorney & told her my story. She agreed it would be easy to accomplish, based upon his actions. However, I was nervous, considering I pleaded guilty to profiting off an illegal business in the fall of 2008. My BabyDaddie saying "Everything will come out, if you take me to court." My attorney told me to ignore his warning, considering if that was truly a concern of his, he would have asked & received full custody years ago.

I finally went to my attorney & filed the paperwork last week. Sadly, he will probably be served the paperwork around the same time we go to our first family counseling session.

Baby & BabyDaddie

I am off today. I have the good fortune to sleep in late, until my 13-year-old daughter, referred to as "Baby" from now on, wakes me, wanting to know where her camera is. We have had this conversation many times in the past, her camera taken away from her some time ago as a punishment. Just like a small child, she only remembers the things that are immediately in front of her, with the other items only passing her thoughts from time to time. This time the thought is her camera.

She approaches me this time as a young woman, not as a little girl, with remarkably tasteful eye liner & a full bosom, covered by a tank top. She's excited because she has lost weight & wants to show others by taking pictures & publishing them to her online profiles. All of this scares me.

In the end, I do not have complete control of my daughter & the internet can be a scary place, full of people who would seek to harm my only legacy. I can only guide her to make her own decisions. I can only hope those decisions are the right ones. I know she will make the wrong decisions from time to time, as we all do. However, I hold true to my belief that she will be a successful adult.

My ex-husband, referred to as "BabyDaddie" from here on, has different ideas. He comes from a background in which his parents, mainly his mother, were very controlling. He prefers not to see his only child fail, by controlling her actions, while I prefer to guide. As a result, BabyDaddie & Baby do not get along. Recently, they have physically attacked one another. Luckily, they rarely see each other, especially since June of 2009, when Baby told BabyDaddie she did not want to see him again. Since then, she has resided with me full-time, not staying with her father once over night.

Introduction

I have dozens of successful blogs across the internet, with dozens of subjects, including prostitution, phone sex, polyamory, paganism, divorce, parenting, etc.  However, I have never had a blog that fully encompassed all of my life, until now.  Because I have chosen to be completely honest in this blog, my name will always remain anonymous.  I am simply known as "Girl Exposed".


In sharing my story I hope you will see & appreciate the extraordinary life you lead, as well as the exceptional lives as others.