Thursday, December 24, 2009

Beloved's Divorce

Beloved is in the process of getting divorced.  If everything goes as planned, it should be finalized on Oct. 1, 2010.  The process has been surprisingly amicable.  Once they went into counceling, Beloved, finally told his wife the polyamorous lifestyle he wanted to live.  Sadly, the lifestyle he wants to live was not the one he & his wife had agreed to when they got engaged.  Although he told her he preferred to keep his marriage, as well as have additional romantic partners (not just sexual) during the therapy session, she rightly did not accept his philosophy.  Why should she?

Although I have never spoken to her, she has my deepest respect.  I was very proud of her for standing up to him & telling him she would not accept that arrangement.  Many women would have blamed themselves or worse.  In addition, she has help to create the man that I love.  Without her, there would be no him.

I can only wish her the very best.  I was completely charmed by her desire to have their marriage of 25-years annulled in the Catholic Church.  Being a good little pagan,  I wasn't even aware they still did that.  Perhaps her intentions are to remarry.  What a wonderful thought.  I hope she finds someone who is worthy of her time, energy & love.  I also hope she finds someone who has her same lovestyle whether, monogamous or otherwise.

Holiday Plans

My plans for the holidays are to enjoy the season alone, as I have for the last 7 years or so.  My boyfriend is visiting his family, including his adult children, from the 23rd to the 27th in upstate New York.  Once he arrived, his mother mentioned I should have come too.  However, because of the nature of our relationship, I would have felt out of place.  Nonetheless, it was kind of her to consider me.  As for me, I find this is a great time for self reflection & making friends with myself again.

RIP: Grandma

My grandmother died last week, at the age of 85.  We were not at all surprised, considering she had battled dementia for the last two years.  We actually prayed for her death, considering she would have been mortified at her own behavior, consisting of biting, spitting, & screaming.

Her dementia was caused from having adult onset diabetes, due to obesity.  The insulin she took for 50-years, eventually caused calcium deposits to form around her brain, impairing her brain function.

Gratefully, I had not seen her since my arrest two years ago.  She was a very difficult woman to love & because I am not very tolerant of mean people, I steered clear of her.  I can now remember her in better times.

We do not have funerals in my family, choosing instead to donate our bodies.  We have memorial services.  Sadly, I was not able to get to the service, due to the snow.  Even the trains were cancelled.

The greatest thing my grandmother taught me was to start taking better care of myself.  Her illness was completely preventable, if she only saw it as important.  I see it as very important.  Thank you, Grandma.