Wednesday, July 2, 2008
The sexworker industry is a funny little beast. If you do not feed its need for information, it will create it & make it seem factual. For example, I never gave any information about another industry worker. Once I was arrested, I lawyered up immediately. I refused to answer any questions & was left alone by the cops. Once I was released from the holding cell, after twelve hours, I was never contacted by the cops or the prosecution. I never gave them any information about the original whore who was arrested. I had too much respect for either lady to help make their lives even more uncomfortable.
The best thing about being arrested & removing me from the industry was not having to deal with all of the rumors that are constantly flying about. To foster that, I refused to even look at the message boards or answer my emails. I returned to a wonderful state of dullness. There is a lot to be said for dullness.
These are the details of my court appearance today. I never actually went into the courtroom. My attorney & the prosecution negotiated in the hallway. I am going to plead guilty to one count, assignation (scheduling appointments for prostitutes); the other three counts will be dropped. I will most likely get parole for two years. After that, I will file to have the parole changed to "parole before judgment". If it is accepted, my record will be expunged after about 4 years. I will serve no jail time. The prosecutions said have fun writing the book.This is what has been negotiated. So things are pretty much done. However, I do not officially submit my plea, until the beginning of August.
Last weekend, I was invited to spend the day with a friend in Southern part of my state. Black people are called “code 2” & the rednecks sit around at pig roasts, talking about lynchings.
I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions. However, was gets me is when their wisdom does not flow. For example, as I was in the midst of a group of rednecks, as they spoke about how brown people from the Middle East & Jews were bad & that they should not be allowed in the country. I pointed out that Jesus of Nazareth was a brown person & Jewish. There were speechless. I guess they are not used to others having a different opinion. At least they were not talking anymore!
I found out today that my trial date has been changed to unknown date. In addition, the county is moving is from the district level up to the circuit level. The difference in the two levels is that they play harder ball on the circuit level & a jury trial can be requested. My attorney believes the county has moved the trial date because they do not have their act together & they are stalling. Whatever the reason, I am disappointed. I was really looking forward to getting this over with.
Beloved, just told me that Debra Palfrey, “The DC Madam”, committed suicide (http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-05-01-dcmadam-suicide_N.htm). I am incredibly sad. She follows the same pattern as Brandy Britton (http://www.crimelibrary.com/news/original/0207/0601_brandy_britton.html). During her media attention, Debra said “"I guess I'm made of something that Brandy Britton wasn't made of." It was reported that Debra also said she, too, was humiliated by her prostitution charges.
Am I any different? I would like to think that I am. I am in no way humiliated by my charges. In fact, once I was able to think clearly, I realized how empowered I have been by the industry. I would never have the confidence, financial security, or wonderful experiences without it. In strongly believing that, I cannot be humiliated. Perhaps I am humbled by my arrest, but not humiliated.
When I passed on the news to T, my boyfriend, by IM, he said:
GirlExposed: the dc madam commited suicide
T: aw damn
T: You better not!
GirlExposed: she follows a pattern of arrested whores: http://www.crimelibrary.com/news/original/0207/0601_brandy_britton.html
T: Yeah I know about her
GirlExposed: I dont think I will. Brandy & Debra both mention they were humiliated. I am not.
GirlExposed: I am empowered by the industry
T: You're empowered in general.
T: You're not only a phenomenal woman, you see no shame in the escorting industry.
T: These are likely women who felt sort of dirty about it in the first place & couldnt handle the moral problems they faced from society's disapproval
T: I mean for her, that seems to make a satisfactory explanation...if it was just the fear of being jailed she would have waited until after sentencing
T: yeah, "humiliated"
T: that's not in the cards for you
GirlExposed: Perhaps I am humbled by my arrest, but not humiliated.
T: I love you largely because you AREN'T
T: it's one of the most admirable facets of your personality.
T: no, humiliated
T: you make no apologies for who you are.
T: your self-esteem doesn't get broken by other people's opinions of you
T: that is so rare in women, and most men, it isn't funny
GirlExposed: thank you
"The DC Madam"
1. Beware anyone sucking up to you and blowing smoke up your ass … chances are they have ulterior motives … your friendship NOT one of them. Be prepared for the ensuing flames and burns.
2. Beware of minions. No matter how long you are around, minions change … you never know who is on whose side til the sh*t hits the fan and you get the stinky spray.
3. Beware anyone clamoring for attention with excessive posting, particularly ‘open discussion’ types. Consider the reputation of the one posting and their motivation behind the post. Sooner or later, a trend will appear. “Some” post just to antagonize those they perceive as a threat to their business.
4. Beware anyone that gets/gives a piece of a$$ as motivation for public support. A$$ makes people do things in public they would never do or think in private.
5. Don’t assume that you are the only one that sees/knows the ‘real’ story/person. Rest assured … If anyone posts regularly … good or bad … MOST see the truth without the details. Folks aren’t blind or stupid (for the most part). Hold on to your secrets, in time it will ALL come out without making YOU look like a demon.
6. Beware anyone that professes to be perfect or legendary … all-knowing & always right. Narcissists do not see or care about anything beyond themselves. Narcissists will go to any length public and private to eliminate anyone that gets in the way of them being on TOP.
7. Trust with your head before your heart. Make damn sure your trust is earned in actions, not empty words.
This was copied from somewhere. If you know the original source, please let me know.
I often get caught in conversations about men & their cock size. Many men want to know whether or not they are average & if they were bigger, could they satisfy a woman better.
First, let me say that a woman, who has trained her body properly, should be able to get sexually aroused from a pencil. The size of a cock is irrelevant. It’s how tight a woman’s pussy muscles are that counts.
Many men want to know if a black man’s penis is larger than a white man’s penis. I asked a baby nurse once about the differences in cocks. She explained things to me this way. She said semen must remain 10 degrees cooler than body temperature, in order to be viable. That’s why the semen is stored in the balls, away from the body. She went on to explain that once upon a time, black men only lived in Africa, a very hot place. Therefore, the balls & penis could be further away from the body & still be viable. Now on the flip side, the white dude went up north, where the temperature was cooler & his cum had to be stored closed to his body, in order to remain only 10 degrees cooler than body temperature. In addition, she mentioned that for the most part white men & black men have the same size cock, once erect. However, when a white man is not erect, his cock shrinks & when a black man is not erect it simply goes flaccid & does not shrink. Got it?
The most amazing thing happened after my trial was over. For the first time in my life, my personal & professional personas were able to happily coexist. Prior to my misfortune, I had to hide one facet of my personality or the other. In polite society, a whore would not be well educated & drug-free, nor would an educated woman be empowered by her sexuality.
I was able to “come out” to all of my friends & family with the notion that I have no regrets over being a whore. I absolutely loved what the industry did for me, including financial stability, confidence, a sense of purpose, & most importantly, making the lives of all those I touched more beautiful.
Every year the circus comes to my hometown on my birthday. Not around my birthday, but the day of my birthday. As a child, my whole family had me convinced that I was so special that the circus was there just for me. As a result of that, I never missed a year of the circus, except for March of 2008, two weeks after my arrest. I have promised myself NEVER to miss the circus again!