Monday, June 29, 2009

Massage Party

I went to massage party recently with Beloved, at the home of one of my girl crushes. I have been at massage parties before & love them, especially when the chemistry is right with everyone involved.

This party concept was apparently new to all the other people involved. I got that hint when, as we were sitting in the kitchen, over & over again they discussed the rules. After a long uncomfortable pause, I got up & said "Yipppeeeeee...Let's get naked", as I grabbed a bottle of wine & some glasses, heading downstairs.

When we got downstairs, people got into their little groups. Beloved came with me, as did the hostess. She apparently was a little uncomfortable with the dynamics of the other group, feeling that we would make her feel more comfortable. I helped further in that endeavor, by stripping to a smile, as did the people in my group.

Our group had been together before, at least by way of hugs, friendship & camaraderie. As Beloved would tell you, he & my girl crush are like two twelve-year-olds, when they are together. They would probably pee on themselves, if someone had told a fart joke. However, Beloved has only admired her physically with his eyes.

On the other hand, I had specifically played with my girl crush. She & I had a short lived physical relationship last year, only to flicker out, when other responsibilities & stresses came to our lives.

I went first. As I lied down, Beloved stayed at the base of feet, knowing I get gushy & mushy, when someone kneads them. My girl crush, naked, with her boobs dangling in my face, stayed at my head. From there, I guided her to all of my yummy points.

After about 15 minutes of pure bliss, we switched with Beloved getting in the middle. Because he of the masculine persuasion, his whole body is a g-spot. Therefore, we did not have to concentrate in on one place. He was perfectly happy to be the center of attention of two nekkid chicks, no matter what they were doing.

Finally, my girl crush went. She lay down before us, as though she was on an altar, stretched out like a cat. I stayed at her feet, with Beloved at her head. We rhythmically began to massage her, starting at the two most distant points & slowing moving towards her center, eventually ending up just above her pelvic bone.

I am pretty sure the other group had a difficulty completing their massages, considering they stared at us in envy the entire time. Our last pose, was the three of us sitting in each other’s laps, like a sandwich, with my girl crush in the middle, smiling & enjoying our energy.

Beloved & His Other Girlfriend Broke Up

Beloved broke up with his other girlfriend recently. Being polyamorous, I am completely accepting & appreciative of other sources of joy in his life. In this case, I knew this relationship would not last long. I even voiced my thoughts to Beloved. However, what attractive, middle aged man is going to say, “No”, to a 20-year-old girl? The relationship lasted about a month & taught both of them a tremendous amount about each other & what they wanted in a partner.

In the end, it is definitely for the best, considering both I & Beloved will be dealing with some major emotional stuff in this upcoming year. I am pretty sure his other girlfriend would not be very helpful. After all, when I was 20, I had difficulty focusing on anyone other than myself for more than a few hours. I am sure the same is the case with most 20-year-olds.

I do believe they will eventually have a physical connection again. I think she needs to go into the world & live a traditional lifestyle, before she can appreciate an alternative one. Either way, she will always be appreciated for the joy she brought to my partner’s life, no matter how short the duration was.

Slipping Through The Cracks

I went for my third probation appointment recently. This time is with a different officer. Apparently my previous officer was no longer working in that office. Now that I think about it, I am sure there is a great deal of turn over. I can’t imagine that the job pays very well or that there is much gratitude.

She went over my case, just as the other had, asking the same questions & completely perplexed as to the amount of the fine ($1000.00) & the length of the probation (3 years). When I explained the circumstances of the arrest & the media attention, she just shook her head. Then, she started pointing at the folders on her desk. I finished her thoughts in words, saying “Yeah, I know it’s a waste for me to be here. However, if I wasn’t, you would not be able to take a break, by enjoying these yummy cookies with me!” I then pulled out a bag of cookies from my bag. She smiled & nodded.

It was then I realized she was in the latter stages of pregnancy. She went on to explain that she was due in September & that I probably would not see her again. Yes, ladies & gentlemen. That means I have to go through the same process with another poor officer, along with my bag of cookies. (The corset cookies were a big hit a few months ago. Perhaps I will bring them next time.)

I mentioned that my last officer requested that I take a pee test every few months, without a specific time frame involved. She agreed, saying that I should take another one, when I visited in September. That means it will be 8 months between pee tests. It seems I have fallen through the cracks yet again. Of course, it really doesn’t make any difference in my case, considering I do not take illegal drugs. However, I wonder how many others in the system have fallen through the cracks too.

For those keeping track, there were only three people in the waiting room, with tattoos on their foreheads!

Wanna Go?: Mystical Journeys

Have you ever heard the call?
It comes in the dark of the night, as the days grow shorter
and the leaves begin to turn to gold and red.
The world begins to turn inward.
The descent begins.
And yet, at this time of year, the harvest reaches its height.
The apples are red in the orchard.
The pumpkins are plump in the field.
All is ready to be cut down that we might live.
Heed the call.

Probably our most introspective event, Mythical Journeys is an opportunity for deeper spiritual work than might be achieved at our other events. Small groups of seekers will be guided through intensive experiences by specially-chosen facilitators. Each facilitator will choose a mythical focus to inform their work, many based upon descent and harvest myths.
We've negotiated a change in date to Columbus Day Weekend which we hope will allow those with limited vacation time to attend. If you don't live too far away, the event is set up so you can work Friday and still arrive at the event Friday night in time for your track to begin. Since this event involves deeper work, all attendees must arrive by Friday evening at 8 PM so that they don't miss anything. In addition, we're asking that children be left at home for this event.

New this year, we're splitting off the meals from the registration price for this event, however, we will be offering a discount if you buy all of your meals ahead of time. Eating at the dining hall has the benefit of bringing much of the group together several times a day, building community, and also allowing our seekers the freedom to work on their deep work without having to worry about where their next meal is coming from. We'll be working closely with the dining hall staff to try to improve the quality of the food. Most tracks will not allow much time for food preparation, so we recommend against it, however, you are welcome to bring easy-to-prepare foods.

Beltane Story

I am frequent visitor to Free Spirit Gatherings, Beltane retreat ( However, I will not be going this year. I would be in the uncomfortable position of going into detail about my life, since the arrest. I feel that I would do much better, if I went with a position of power, for example, once the book is published or as a teacher at a workshop. This time around, I would have to deal with constant questions.

Next year will be completely different; I will walk into the retreat with a sense of purpose & importance. The book will hopefully be published & I will be teaching sex workshops for couples. I look forward to that.

Last year, a naughty hobbyist tried to manipulate himself into my favor during the retreat, by approaching me in the dungeon, announcing he knew who I was & who he was, specifically which whore message board he frequented, & requesting “private time” with me, as he tried to shove his tongue down my throat. He had also called me my whore name in front of others on several occasions.

I was pissed off. Why would someone think it was okay to approach me? I do have a life outside of whoredom. Did he do it, because he thought it made him special? Regardless of his intent, I have little tolerance for stupidity. I told him the only way I would spend private time with him was if he was holding $300.00 in his hand & a ball gag in his mouth. I then walked away. What a schmuck.